Girl comes to cash (early twenties) about to pay for something …she can’t find her method of payment.

OH but of course! She remembers….”oh yeah, it’s here”

*pulls it out of her bra and hands it to me*

UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME, it was not a debit card.
Which means I couldn’t ask her to swipe it herself.

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PLEASE ladies… if your purse/wallet is too chunky and you don’t want to carry it around. GO INVEST IN A SMALLER ONE!!!!!!!!!!!! WE DON’T WANT TO BE SWIPING NO WARM AND SWEATY CREDIT CARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boob juices……………………that’s so nasty.
Gotta remind myself to bring Purel to work.

Lady comes from the boxed Christmas cards section around the corner….and asks…

“Are they ALL made in China?!”

…(takes me a second to respond because I am wondering how there is any possible way she can’t see that I AM CHINESE)…….then I can see it in her eyes….she realizes she just embarrassed herself like a stupid.

Me: “Yes ma’am all the boxed ones are made in China. If you prefer, the single ones are made in the States.”

“I mean they’re cheap ….I mean the price is good….but what happened to the UK and the US …..know what i mean? ….not that I have anything against China…..spread it around a little!”

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Yes, keep talking…let’s see how much of your own ass you can chew on.

Really? You think buying a handful of Christmas cards is going to make a difference towards anything? Yes, way to fight the Man you moron.

retail peeve:
My hand is outstretched and waiting…. why you no put the shit IN MY HAND?!?!?!?

because you e-mailed a complaint about me

WHEN you wanted something that wasn’t on sale for sale price

WHY DON’T you snotty sons of bitches understand that you

CANNOT walk into a store and DICTATE the prices.

I hope you PETTY GROWN ASS PEOPLE suffer something horrible in the near future.

Customer’s always right my ass.

Customer needs to trip over themselves and die.

SO that they can stop breathing my air.

customer calls…

Customer: I’m looking for a musical porcelain toy.

Me: Yes, we have some from Precious Moments.
(umm… i really don’t think your children should be playing with these “porcelain toys”)

Customer: Is it wind up?

Me: Yep.
(…how ELSE would a porcelain collectible play music?!?)

Customer: Ok…..can you give me a price range?

(are you kidding me?!?! Ever heard of the internet?!?!? How lazy could you be that you are actually calling the retail store and trying to shop over the phone!!!!!!)

Me: They’re between $30 to $50.

Customer: $30 to $15??

(yess… that’s right lady…..30 to 15……..that’s exactly what i said.)

Me: $30 to five-zero ma’am.

Customer: oh ok ….and they’re musical right?

Customer paying by debit.

DECLINED.

Tries again.

DECLINED.

“Sorry ma’am it declined. It’s probably the machine it’s been acting up all day. Do you want to try something else?”

Customer: Yes it is machine. Because it CAN’T be me.

“Yes…so did you want to pay with something else?”

Customer: I know what my balance is. It must be YOUR machine. Is it working now?

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WTF it’s like talking to a wall.

Please kindly throw your face into my open palm I cannot justify using precious calories to slap you.

I ALREADY SAID IT WAS THE MACHINE YOU TARD!!! I ALSO ALREADY ASKED YOU TO PAY WITH SOMETHING ELSE.

GEE GENIUS …. THAT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING ……IT’S NOT BLEEPIN WORKING!!!!!

i’m busy as hell doing receiving and ringing people in and answering questions at the same time…and as you all know by now… i work all my shifts alone…

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this young lady (maybe 18-20?) comes in ….

Customer: Do you have recordable cards?

Me: Yes they should be with the musical cards…in this left aisle here *pointing to the aisle* …it’s in the section with the giant hamburger at the top.

Customer: Ok thanks! *proceeds to walk into the middle aisle*

…..wth is it with people and not following directions???? FOLLOW THE FINGER!!!

….btw we only have 3 aisles.

maybe 5 minutes passes by and she comes back to tell me she couldn’t find them.

Me: Oh they’re in THIS aisle.

Customer: Ok *walks straight down the whole aisle without looking at anything then proceeds to look puzzled at the end of the aisle*

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sooo first you go to the wrong aisle then BECAUSE you went into the wrong aisle you forgot what i said about the hamburger…so now even though you’re finally in the right aisle…you still can’t find it.

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….by this point i’ve lost all hope in humanity.

Dammit! I’m busy! Come on! Help a sistah out here!!
At the moment, I really can’t hold your hand and help you shop. PLEASE USE YOUR BRAINNNN ugh. Really our aisles are not even that long …so if i say its in that aisle TRUST ME IT’S THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

….i hate you…. i really do.

in the bag or with you?

Customer: ya, that’s fine.

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WHICH ONE IS IT!?!?!?!?!?!? ugh.

i’m sorry but i fail to see which one is “fine”

in the bag or with you?

Customer: No, it’s ok.

*too many customers answer with this…*

_________________________

….there were two options and you gave me neither. NOR did you specify what you want if not those 2. why are you making this take longer than it should?

Yet…people STILL try to insert their cards….*facepalm*

…I mean I get it …it’s routine or habit or you’re not paying attention but CLEARLY SOMETHING is different about THIS debit machine….

You can’t even fit another card in there!!! I wrapped the cardboard with tape so that it’s thick and doesn’t fall out of the slot. Yet some people still try to shove their cards in……