Customer: Do you sell calendars?
Me: No, sorry.
Customer: what about 2012?
Me: ………….
Your bra is NOT a wallet.
Girl comes to cash (early twenties) about to pay for something …she can’t find her method of payment.
OH but of course! She remembers….”oh yeah, it’s here”
*pulls it out of her bra and hands it to me*
UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME, it was not a debit card.
Which means I couldn’t ask her to swipe it herself.
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PLEASE ladies… if your purse/wallet is too chunky and you don’t want to carry it around. GO INVEST IN A SMALLER ONE!!!!!!!!!!!! WE DON’T WANT TO BE SWIPING NO WARM AND SWEATY CREDIT CARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boob juices……………………that’s so nasty.
Gotta remind myself to bring Purel to work.
Being Chinese & working in a card store during Chinese New Years…
Customer shopping for a Chinese New Year card…
“Can you tell me what this card says?”
Me: No sorry I’m Vietnamese.
Throughout the shift I must get asked at least 2-4 times…
“How much are these candles?”
Me: $4.99
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Umm…that’s what the RED 8 1/2 BY 11 SIGN says!!!!!!!!!!
USE YOUR EYEBALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Know why I hate when there are sales in the store?
because people don’t know how to do math!!!!
“miss, how much is this?”
ME: I believe the tag says $24
“yes but it says it’s 75% off”
ME: yes.
(i’m not saying more. i want you to have to ask me what the answer is b/c i hope you will feel embarrassed.)
“…so how much is that?”
ME: 24 divided by 4 is 6. It’s $6 ma’am.
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FOR FUTURE REFERENCE:
if something is 75%, 80%, 85%, or 90% off
and it’s too difficult for you to calculate
because you can’t handle such big percentages…
WHY NOT TRY TO CALCULATE WHAT IS LEFT OF THE PRICE!!!!!!!
75 off = you are paying 25% (HINT: DIVIDE BY 4!!)
80 off = you are paying 20% (HINT: twice of 10%)
85 off = you are paying 15% (HINT: do 10% then + another half of that)
90 off = you are paying 10% (HINT: MOVE THE FRKN DECIMAL!!!!!!)
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I don’t know how people get by life not knowing how to do simple math…
Just stop speaking …please.
Lady comes from the boxed Christmas cards section around the corner….and asks…
“Are they ALL made in China?!”
…(takes me a second to respond because I am wondering how there is any possible way she can’t see that I AM CHINESE)…….then I can see it in her eyes….she realizes she just embarrassed herself like a stupid.
Me: “Yes ma’am all the boxed ones are made in China. If you prefer, the single ones are made in the States.”
“I mean they’re cheap ….I mean the price is good….but what happened to the UK and the US …..know what i mean? ….not that I have anything against China…..spread it around a little!”
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Yes, keep talking…let’s see how much of your own ass you can chew on.
Really? You think buying a handful of Christmas cards is going to make a difference towards anything? Yes, way to fight the Man you moron.
DO NOT knock on my glass counter like I am Lurch (Addams family) and I should come running when you ring.
IT IS NOT SOME MAKESHIFT DOORBELL!!
I SEE YOU!!! I am with another customer or dropping off some heavy shit RELAX AND WAIT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!!
I.DO.NOT.WRITE.THE.CARDS!!!!
This guy (mid-late twenties) comes into the store with a FULL-ON GOLD AND DIAMOND STUDDED GRILL FROM INCISOR TO INCISOR.
Customer: ummm…. do you have… like… you know… cards that for like sorry ….for like saying…i’m sorry
Me: No sorry we do not have apology cards. We have blank cards if you want to write your own message.
Customer: Can you help me out? ….are you good? ….how’s your writing?
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WTF DOES THIS LOOK LIKE?!?!? Does it look like I get paid to MAKE AND DESIGN the cards?!?!
What is this? Customize-your-cards???
Come in and let us TAKE you through the exciting journey of designing cards! If you do not find what you want just ask the sales associate to WRITE one for you!!!!
~~~~~~
p.s.- he ended up buying some romance card
Do not swear at your children in public!!!!! You are embarrassing yourself and making it awkward for EVERYONE ELSE.
Anger issues much?
Wife and husband come in (in their mid forties?) with their toddler in a stroller.
The wife wants to buy some precious moments.
She has two on hold but is looking for the matching one and since we have BOGO 50% off she has to get a 4th one as well.
She asks her husband “should I buy it?”
Husband *in a loud snotty angry voice*: Why are you asking me?? Why are you even asking me?! Don’t ask me.
It just gets awkward because now the wife feels rushed and is clearly not about to get help from her husband.
(The toddler is crying.)
Husband turns to the stroller ………..”Michael. will. you. shut. the. fk. up?”
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O_O …..if that was my husband …..well ….he just wouldn’t be!!! He needs a reality check… and a giant back hand to the face.
like OK there Hulk Hogan bring it down a few notches…not much for discretion are you?
I felt so bad for the wife…she was kind of avoiding eye contact with me after that…
and the sad part is she never said anything she just ended up buying all four items (which BTW cost over $130) and left….poor lady….
